The process of locating a partner to love is famously so hard, it may for a long time disguise an alternative, even more complicated reality: that whatever we claim, it would be a lot easier for us if we never found them.
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“The process of locating a partner to love is famously so hard, it may for a long time disguise an alternative, even more complicated reality: that whatever we claim, it would be a lot easier for us if we never found them. The hurdles of dating undeniably exist; that doesn’t mean that they aren’t also being gratefully used to hide – mostly from ourselves – a harder-to-mention wish to remain on our own.
Consciously, we may tell ourselves that we would dearly love to land on a compatible soul. Inside, we are hard at work ensuring we won’t – and for a variety of hugely understandable reasons:
– because it is simply too painful to hope.
– because we have realised that we have too much talent for identifying characters who can torment us.
– because we have had enough of other people’s madness and too much experience of our own; because humans may be best enjoyed from a distance.”
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